Gail C. Berreitter

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Poetry by Lady Gabrielle
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Musings of My Life
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Lord Byron
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The Sweetest Story


 

Silent Screams

Silent screams that no one hears
Silent screams fall on deaf ears
Silent screams bring on the tears
Silent screams bring on the fears.


The silence is maddening inside my head. It screeches and hollers and deafens my thoughts. The only relief is one of denial that all things are fine, and I will get through this heinous trial.

I pray with a passion for God to stop me from destroying my being and to give me the courage to accept this, my most horrible fate. My life has taken the most appalling turn and I have finally learned that I am as a leper, gross and ugly. The lesions I see are things from the past. So hurtful and hateful and uncaring in its task.

This silent monster does its job very well. The demon slowly creeps through the jungle of tormented souls looking for one ripe with vulnerability. It weaves a spell with a web of such tangled emotions that no one is safe from the power of its destruction. When it finds a weak soul it pounces! Alas, that soul is lost forever, screaming and screaming in silent torture. Wandering through eternity with its heart in its hands. Holding it out for someone to take and to cherish and show that it is truly loved and wanted in some world, somewhere.

Oh what a fool I have been! Not to see the cruel joke that life has pulled on me. Not to feel the earth moving under my feet until it was too late. Not to feel the torrent of pain until my heart had been ripped from my soul. No, it can't be that this is my fate?
Oh God, how blind I am with eyes, how deaf with ears, and how lost without love!

SILENT SCREAMS ARE MY DEATH WARRANT!

September 26, 1993

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