Silent screams that no one hears
Silent screams fall on deaf ears
Silent screams bring on the tears
Silent screams bring on the fears.
The silence is maddening inside my head. It screeches and
hollers and deafens my thoughts. The only relief is one of
denial that all things are fine, and I will get through this
I pray with a passion for God to stop me from destroying
my being and to give me the courage to accept this, my most
horrible fate. My life has taken the most appalling turn and
I have finally learned that I am as a leper, gross and ugly.
The lesions I see are things from the past. So hurtful and
hateful and uncaring in its task.
This silent monster does its job very well. The demon slowly
creeps through the jungle of tormented souls looking for one
ripe with vulnerability. It weaves a spell with a web of such
tangled emotions that no one is safe from the power of its
destruction. When it finds a weak soul it pounces! Alas, that
soul is lost forever, screaming and screaming in silent torture.
Wandering through eternity with its heart in its hands. Holding
it out for someone to take and to cherish and show that it
is truly loved and wanted in some world, somewhere.
Oh what a fool I have been! Not to see the cruel joke that
life has pulled on me. Not to feel the earth moving under
my feet until it was too late. Not to feel the torrent of
pain until my heart had been ripped from my soul. No, it can't
be that this is my fate?
Oh God, how blind I am with eyes, how deaf with ears, and
how lost without love!
SILENT SCREAMS ARE MY DEATH WARRANT!
September 26, 1993